So, I've begun work on my newest project and I've already hit some sort of creative road block. I feel limited, as I always have, by my skills as a painter. I always happen upon something I like instead of starting off knowing exactly what I'm trying to achieve and that makes me uncomfortable. I like to be in control of every aspect of my work and this uncertainty is unacceptable. I think what's slowing me down is that I don't see the end result in my head. Usually I can imagine what I want the finished works to be like. Now for some reason, I can't. This week has been very emotional for me. When I first moved here I was beyond excited about a new beginning and the chance to create in a new atmosphere. Now, I'm becoming homesick and that may also be effecting my work.

I've been trying to infuse my interests in the imaginary into my work for some time now with no luck. I've recreated well known fairy tales including Snow White, and had to ultimately end up abandoning the project because my visions weren't being translated well enough. Specifically for my reinterpretations of fairy tales I was interested in the naivety of the early Disney princesses. I saw a parallel in this and in my introduction into the gay world after coming out. There was no manual on how to be gay but there were certainly expectations from my peers on how to behave and act. I want to pick this project up one day, I'm just not sure when. Perhaps during my time here at SCAD.

I'm not sure what's going on with me at all right now and hopefully I'll be able to figure it out soon. There's much work to be done, and not a lot of time to do it.